| Developing Your Powers Of Attraction |
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Developing Your Powers Of Attraction
The following article is one of a series of articles which focus on Self Improvement, Motivation and Empowerment.
It is based on research done over twenty years as a personal and business coach.
This self improvement article was
written in response to questions which I have been asked as well as address common challenges that people have with
this subject and all aspects of personal development.
I sincerely hope that you find the following information of value.
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Does a Law on Human Attraction Exist?
“Opposites attract” is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about
attraction between two people? “In a world that is full of strangers” as a line in a famous song of the 1980’s goes, is
there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?
Is attraction a matter of chemistry?
Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones.
The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some
experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor
released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing
urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as
insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from
theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has
capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one’s sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale
and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.
Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many
conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these
do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such
as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these
scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their
ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men’s shirts that were genetically different, but also
shared similarities with the women’s genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and
healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is
affected by the women’s ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use
of contraceptive pills.
========SIDEBAR========
When it comes to the subject of self improvement, I fully understand (through my own experiences) that it is a lot
easier said than done. However, you are here, right now, because you have a desire to improve your self or you are
at least interested in this subject. Perhaps you are reading this to help a friend or colleague - great. If this
article helps you or you help a friend, paying it forward is what life's all about so we all win.
======END SIDEBAR======
Does personality figure in sexual attraction?
Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate’s personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen,
E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person’s sense of self-security and at least the
person’s perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations.
What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual
personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your
potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of
personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed
relationships: “I thought he/she was this kind of person.”
So how does attraction figure in relationships?
You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the
beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from
the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams,
and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.
So should I stop trying to become attractive?
More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and
spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the
healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a
person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs,
values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that
you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all
aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a
person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself
and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.
NOW is the time!
O.K. you have read the article. Now is the time for action. Without action, this article adds no value whatsoever
to your self improvement. But remember, without action, you cannot blame this self improvement article or any
article for that matter. So, take action NOW.
Even if only one piece of advice, one piece of information, one tip makes a difference, then the whole article has
been worth it for all of us.
NOW is the time!
Return From Powers Of Attraction to Articles On Self-Improvement
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